So this is QUITE frustrating!! The doc wanted me to wait a couple weeks to see if my cycle would start. Well on Sunday, the 10th, I bled extremely light, then it went away. It did that every single day until Friday the 15th...that's when I started bleeding really bad. I was scared out of my mind because I didn't want to end up like it was, like a bad habit..I guess it's a fear now...a phobia more like.
It's been 10 (15) days and guess what? I'M STILL BLEEDING! Not just regular bleeding.. it's like it was before, HEAVY and very clotted....Not to mention my belly is bloated from it AGAIN...all this bleeding is making me gain all the weight back because of how poor my nutrition is. I am calling the doctor today to set up an appointment. I waited so long to call him because I had HOPE that it would STOP. I am so tired of this, I really hope it doesn't end up where I have to have a hysterectomy.
I want my own baby!! Is that too much to ask?!
Don't be like.. "Oh just adopt." ....I am NOT against adopting and I DO want to adopt regardless in the future, but have YOU been through this? Are YOU infertile? YES, I know people that are and they have adopted and I think that is BEAUTIFUL! ...but I want to be able to feel pregnancy, feel that bond, go through it, just like YOU did.
Why God is doing this, I don't know. Maybe he feels we are not ready, whether it be financially, mentally...even tho we believe we are ready, God as a plan....and no matter how much it hurts me, or how frustrating it is, we got to stick to it. If we are NOT ready, why can't we just "not" have one, instead of me suffering like this! Have I done something so horrible? All I can do it pray...
Now I'm going to call the doctor and try my best to live through these days without breaking down...I will have to sit on my bum 24/7 otherwise I have to rush to the bathroom anytime I move or get up (Yes it is that bad...).
-Katie
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